She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize