I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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