Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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