thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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