arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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