I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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