You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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