Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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