No, you can still breathe under the balls.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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