what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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