fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize