Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
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Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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