Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am available for nakedness
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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