Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
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Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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