Pappa wants mamma naked
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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