happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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