glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
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