he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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