Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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