Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize