So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize