I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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