yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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