OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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