I wanna bring you to show and tell
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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