I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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