I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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