I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize