He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize