MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize