I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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