Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
