i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize