After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize