oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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