Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
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