Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My nipple is on Facebook.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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