I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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