I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ladies don't puke and tell
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize