I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
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I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
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Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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