fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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