OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize