I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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