I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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