Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize