The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize