fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
So. Much. Porn.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize