I am in a vortex of obligation.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
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