he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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