Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Still dying that you shit outside
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize