escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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